The Value of a Godly Father

The Value of a Godly Father
By Elizabeth D. Rios, MA
[Originally published in Tristate Voice, June 2003]

A godly father can have such a significant influence on his children—and, as a result, the next generation— yet tragically, the father that faithfully stands by his wife and children is becoming more of an rarity. Sadly, I know, my own dad walked away from me at 2 years old. I had a dad but not a Godly father.

Twenty-four million children live in homes without their biological fathers. That means that tonight one out of every three children will go to bed in a home in which his or her father does not live. It has been documented that children who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely to suffer from child abuse, poverty, low academic achievement, drug use, emotional and behavioral problems and suicide.

How did we get here? The fatherhood crisis began with the physical disappearance of fathers from families. Two major demographic trends that contribute to the rise of father absence is the increase of divorce and unwed childbearing. Throughout history, men have been torn from their families by war, disease, and death. But in this millennium in America, men are choosing to disconnect from family life on a massive scale. Consequently, we are in danger of becoming a fatherless society.

The decline of fatherhood is tragic and profound, but it does not have to be permanent or irreversible. Every pastor can help by making sure they have good men’s leaders putting together relevant men’s programs tackling the real issues in society. There are enough social events going on in many men’s programs. Here are a few tips on developing a relevant men’s programming agenda:

• Help men become Godly men. Although the first step may seem obvious, it needs to be said. Before men can become the fathers God has called them to be, they must become the men that He has called them to be. This comes from a personal relationship with Him and the only way to the Father is through His son, Jesus Christ.

• Help men learn to love their children’s mother. It is important for men to love their children, but even more so to love their mother. A child who knows that daddy loves mami and is true to her will be far more stable and have greater emotional health than one who is torn by the opposite situation. This can be extremely difficult in divorced families. For divorced fathers, never ever let your children hear or see you dishonor their mother in any way. We need men today who love their families by showing loyalty in every way to the women they have chosen as their life companions.

• Help men learn how to show love to their children. We all want to be loved and there is a tremendous security in knowing that we are. But there is a common misconception today that a father is not capable of loving his children or at least not as much as a mother can. This is ludicrous. I know a few fathers out there who not only left their jobs to be the primary caretaker but look forward to showering their children with love as much as possible.

• Help men to pray and trust God for their children. There are only so many things a father can do for his children. Help men to trust in God to provide that which they cannot. Help them to never underestimate the power of prayer.

In June, we celebrate Father’s day and every man who has a child is remembered. That’s nice, I guess. However, a bumper sticker I saw once said, “any man can be daddy, but it takes a special man to be a father.” This month, let us celebrate the special men who have not walked away from their kids. Let’s continue to pray for God to work in the churches of this country that build up our men. Godly fathers do not need to remain a rarity.