In Search of the Blessing

Prism Magazine [A publication of Evangelicals for Social Action]August/September 2005 Issue -- Column: In Like Manner…the Women


By Elizabeth D. Rios

At the National Pastor’s Convention/Emergent Conference in Nashville, Tenn., last May, I attended, along with about 35 other women, a discussion group facilitated by leaders of the Emerging Women’s Leadership Initiative www.emergingwomenleaders.org). One theme that resonated for all of us present was that many women--women who are gifted, experienced in ministry, academically prepared for leadership roles, and feel the call of God on their lives--are tired of their search for “the blessing.”

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines blessing as “the formal act of giving approval” and “to speak well of, approve.” I, like many other women around the country who I've spoken to, am saddened by the lack of opportunities afforded to us just because of our gender. Although various secular studies show that men still earn more money then their female counterparts in the same positions, there is progress in the fact that at least there are female counterparts in both government and corporate America. Unfortunately, the church (specifically in some denominations and individual male mindsets) represents the last frontier for biblical equality of women as reflected in Galatians 3:28: There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

While the search for the blessing is not necessarily gender specific, women have a harder time accepting themselves when they are not accepted by those in authority. In her new book Leading Lessons: Insights on Leadership from Women of the Bible (Augsburg Fortress, 2005), Jeanne Porter writes “the leadership gift within doesn’t need to be affirmed or validated by some one else to make it ‘real.’” While I wholeheartedly agree with her, in reality countless women don’t dare step into God’s call on their lives because they are still waiting for “the blessing.” Often times, when the blessing does come, if ever, it is only for specific or restricted roles.

To wit: My husband and I recently planted a church in Pembroke Pines, Flor., but only after many years of my own inner struggle about the legitimacy of my leadership role as a pastor. As women, even when we feel qualified for certain leadership roles, when God asks us to do something that has historically been a “men’s club” position, we often begin the questioning process all over again. Or, just when we find ourselves able to let go and do as we believe God wants, someone challenges us. Just this week, my role was again challenged by a denominational presbyter who has been genuinely supportive of our emerging church in the past. But he suddenly emailed me and asked that I not use the term “co-pastor” because of some alleged “legal ramifications” but instead use “associate” or “assistant” pastor. I responded, “I would gladly use one of those terms if it indeed described what I was, but since I am, in fact, a co-pastor, I will continue to use that term.”

Would a man have been challenged about his title? I wonder. I was able to respond to this challenge with loving firmness because I am healed, and no longer search for “the blessing” of mortals. I seek God’s blessing. However, that doesn’t make it any less hurtful.

Unfortunately, the search continues for many women who see ministry as their life-long call and for various reasons feel they should struggle along in their denominations. One young woman at the Emergent conference was very honest about some of those reasons: familiarity, retirement, financial security. Staying may help in the security department but may not mean acceptance, as Rev. Delores Carpenter of Washington, D.C., mentioned in a Disciples of Christ newsletter: “Despite the increasing number of women in religious leadership, African-American women clergy of historic black churches still find acceptance difficult.” The lack of blessing for women in leadership in this post-denominational era has and will continue to challenge those denominations that are losing members.

In the church, it is more important to look at gifting and character than at gender or age. Regardless of the gifts involved, individuals are remiss when they fail to fulfill their God-given function within the Body of Christ. “But by the grace of God I am what I am,” writes Paul in 1 Cor. 15:10, “and his grace to me was not without effect.” Therefore, if you are a leader, lead. Whatever God has put at your hand to do, do it.

One thing to remember is that women can be the source of blessing for other women’s work. Your opportunity to do just that is coming up in October. I’ll be joining many powerful women of God as a workshop facilitator at the Women in Ministry Conference hosted by Dr. Suzan Johnson Cooke (www.wiminconference.com), October 9-11 in Fort Lauderdale. Trust me, you’ll be encouraged and blessed to go forward in the work God has for you.

Although it may hurt to lack the blessing of man, we must desire so much more the blessing of God. God’s blessing comes through our obedience to what God has called us to do, and sometimes fulfilling that call comes without the blessing of those from whom we desire it. Nevertheless, step out into your calling, searching first God’s blessing, and looking forward to the fulfillment you’ll receive by ministering to those whom God shall have you bless.

Elizabeth D. Rios is co-pastor of Wounded Healer Fellowship (www.woundedhealerfellowship.com) in Pembroke Pines, Flor., academic advisor and adjunct professor at Trinity International University’s South Florida Campus, founder of the Center for Emerging Female Leadership (www.cefl.org), and a doctoral student in organizational leadership. Visit her weblog at http://latinaliz.typepad.com.